Friday, 24 November 2006
deep sighing.
It took me two weeks to remember what I don't like about living in Echuca.
(did I tell you I moved? If not... well, I did.)
It's a lonely place, unless you know your place in it. Maybe I'm just lonely because I haven't found my place yet, maybe that will change, but at the moment, I wish I were back in Bendigo.
It's not as if I don't have friends here, because I do, they constantly "pop around for a chat", (because that's what these country people do in their spare time), they ask me to go to things with them, and sometimes I go, but there's a definate missing of connection. The people who consider themselves to be friends come over to your house and talk about themselves, informing you of the latest important thing they're doing, and then go away to their next appointment. I don't see the point.
There are too many artificial conversations here. If it's before 10:30 am, the walkers down the street say "morning" in a friendly enough way, but that's the only thing they say. In the evenings they say "night", without looking too carefully into your face.
I can't be too close with the guys here that I used to be friends with, because their affections for me are usually physically based. They mistake themselves thinking they're in 'love' with me, when i know it's just lust. It's hard to seriously talk to a person who wants to know what you look like naked.
I now realise that my sister is most definatly my best friend. After all, i've left Bendigo, and am not a part of Echuca as yet. And Ainsley, (my sister) is actually curious about my responses to questions, as I am with her. I'm going to need more credit on my phone if I'm going to survive.
Maybe I just don't fit in here.
(did I tell you I moved? If not... well, I did.)
It's a lonely place, unless you know your place in it. Maybe I'm just lonely because I haven't found my place yet, maybe that will change, but at the moment, I wish I were back in Bendigo.
It's not as if I don't have friends here, because I do, they constantly "pop around for a chat", (because that's what these country people do in their spare time), they ask me to go to things with them, and sometimes I go, but there's a definate missing of connection. The people who consider themselves to be friends come over to your house and talk about themselves, informing you of the latest important thing they're doing, and then go away to their next appointment. I don't see the point.
There are too many artificial conversations here. If it's before 10:30 am, the walkers down the street say "morning" in a friendly enough way, but that's the only thing they say. In the evenings they say "night", without looking too carefully into your face.
I can't be too close with the guys here that I used to be friends with, because their affections for me are usually physically based. They mistake themselves thinking they're in 'love' with me, when i know it's just lust. It's hard to seriously talk to a person who wants to know what you look like naked.
I now realise that my sister is most definatly my best friend. After all, i've left Bendigo, and am not a part of Echuca as yet. And Ainsley, (my sister) is actually curious about my responses to questions, as I am with her. I'm going to need more credit on my phone if I'm going to survive.
Maybe I just don't fit in here.
# posted by Hil : Friday, November 24, 2006
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