Saturday, 1 July 2006
1000 words plus.
This picture goes along perfectly with my thinking at the moment.
I remember being a little girl and listing off the things that make you a "big person" in the world.
E.G:
*wearing high-heels
*driving a car
*having a job
*living away from home
What I didn't ask myself back then was, what happens if you gain the list of things you have to be or have done in order to be a "big person", or "grown up", and you still feel like you're exactly the same person that looked up at all the tall people and said "one day, that will be me". The only difference is that there aren't as many people taller than me these days, and I don't drink as much chocolate milk. (I'm a banana girl now.) So now what? Marry a man? Have a few kids? Will I feel like the same person then? I know, I know, it's a gradual process, and one that you don't realise is happening... but I can't help but wonder what will be the exact moment when I realise I'm an adult in my own rights? Maybe when i find my first grey hair or when I have my first hip-replacement surgery? ahh dear. I think I'm going to have to figure this one out when it happens.
Love, Hil.
P.S - I haven't talked to the guy who used to be my friend still. I think it's all a bit too weird now. As they say, there are more friends in the sea, or something like that.
# posted by Hil : Saturday, July 01, 2006
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There isn't a point in time when you become an adult. Adulthood isn't gained by getting married, having kids, wearing high-heels, or living away from home. I can give countless examples of people I know who fit all of those descriptors, yet fall miserably short of true adulthood. Realizing that it may be a bit depressing to hear this answer when you are searching for the meaning of adulthood, I'll give you the answer as I know it:
You achieve adulthood the moment you take total responsibility for yourself, including successes and mistakes.
Seems like a simple concept doesn't it? Why do you suppose it is so difficult for people to say "it's my fault" or "I made a bad decision". People tend to shun success because it always comes with new responsibilities. People tend to justify mistakes by simply blamming something or someone else for the circumstances that led to the mistake.
Try this:
The next time you do something good, give yourself credit. The next time something bad happens, take responsibility and make adjustments so it doesn't happen again. I bet you'll feel more adult after either scenario.
You achieve adulthood the moment you take total responsibility for yourself, including successes and mistakes.
Seems like a simple concept doesn't it? Why do you suppose it is so difficult for people to say "it's my fault" or "I made a bad decision". People tend to shun success because it always comes with new responsibilities. People tend to justify mistakes by simply blamming something or someone else for the circumstances that led to the mistake.
Try this:
The next time you do something good, give yourself credit. The next time something bad happens, take responsibility and make adjustments so it doesn't happen again. I bet you'll feel more adult after either scenario.
I think I've got the part where I admit my mistakes down-pat.
I think...
As for the part where I admit what I've done right, well... I can't help keep thinking that when people tell me I've done something right, that it's because they like me as a person rather than the action itself. And I know that sometimes white lies occur, but I also know that sometimes people are being geniune, and I have trouble taking that at face value.
Like i said to someone lovely the other day, life is a ladder, as long as you climb, you'll get there eventually, right?
I'll try your advice out, and let you know how it goes.
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I think...
As for the part where I admit what I've done right, well... I can't help keep thinking that when people tell me I've done something right, that it's because they like me as a person rather than the action itself. And I know that sometimes white lies occur, but I also know that sometimes people are being geniune, and I have trouble taking that at face value.
Like i said to someone lovely the other day, life is a ladder, as long as you climb, you'll get there eventually, right?
I'll try your advice out, and let you know how it goes.
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