Friday, 14 March 2008
mismatch
I feel like nobody understands me at the moment. And I know that's a melodramatic thing to say. I know that some little emo teenager is slitting their wrists wishing they had thought to say that before I did, but this is the way my cookie is crumbling.
For example, I saw a tornado. Okay, well, it wasn't exactly a tornado. I don't know what you call it, but for want of a better word, i'll call it that. It was hovering on a paddock filled with red dust, sucking up the dust, making the funnel of the (wind spout?) appear in the sky, and it went up so high. I almost forgot how high the sky goes before I saw that windspout to give me perspective. I pulled my car over (i'm always driving these days *sigh*) and I couldn't help but wish that someone else was there, so that I could share that moment, so that somebody else would see what I saw - even a stranger - just so i could ... i don't know, so I wasn't the only one seeing that beautiful thing.
I worked in one place, drove for 3.5 hours, then worked at another place. By the time i was halfway through the second "shift", I was starting to notice how stupid people can be. Why do people ask so many questions when they don't give a crap about the answer? Do they realise they sound like an idiot when they do? Oh, and pointing out what my job is after i've been doing it for A YEAR simply because I got a tip that you didn't is a pathetically immature way to push my buttons... that incidently works. gr. I hate that i'm so predictable.
I'm thinking of putting of doing something selfless for someone i love, but i'm not sure if it will even end up achieving anything. should i do it, still? what do you think? i suppose you need more specifics - hm, without saying too much - i'm thinking of putting off what i was going to do with my life for the rest of the year so that someone else will get out of a rut. Do you think i should?
Man, i'm tired. I have so many things that I should be doing. So many 'have to do's' on my list of things to do. I think i'm getting tired, i think i'm waring myself down.
For example, I saw a tornado. Okay, well, it wasn't exactly a tornado. I don't know what you call it, but for want of a better word, i'll call it that. It was hovering on a paddock filled with red dust, sucking up the dust, making the funnel of the (wind spout?) appear in the sky, and it went up so high. I almost forgot how high the sky goes before I saw that windspout to give me perspective. I pulled my car over (i'm always driving these days *sigh*) and I couldn't help but wish that someone else was there, so that I could share that moment, so that somebody else would see what I saw - even a stranger - just so i could ... i don't know, so I wasn't the only one seeing that beautiful thing.
I worked in one place, drove for 3.5 hours, then worked at another place. By the time i was halfway through the second "shift", I was starting to notice how stupid people can be. Why do people ask so many questions when they don't give a crap about the answer? Do they realise they sound like an idiot when they do? Oh, and pointing out what my job is after i've been doing it for A YEAR simply because I got a tip that you didn't is a pathetically immature way to push my buttons... that incidently works. gr. I hate that i'm so predictable.
I'm thinking of putting of doing something selfless for someone i love, but i'm not sure if it will even end up achieving anything. should i do it, still? what do you think? i suppose you need more specifics - hm, without saying too much - i'm thinking of putting off what i was going to do with my life for the rest of the year so that someone else will get out of a rut. Do you think i should?
Man, i'm tired. I have so many things that I should be doing. So many 'have to do's' on my list of things to do. I think i'm getting tired, i think i'm waring myself down.
# posted by Hil : Friday, March 14, 2008
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While that is an amazing thing to do, you can't just put your life on hold for someone else's. Can you be sure that being there will help that person to get out of the rut?
And will you be happy not doing the things you've planned for so long?
And how will they feel, knowing that you put your life on hold for them?
Really, its up to you, and I can't tell you which is better, cos I don't know; but is there even a little chance that you might regret it later?
And will you be happy not doing the things you've planned for so long?
And how will they feel, knowing that you put your life on hold for them?
Really, its up to you, and I can't tell you which is better, cos I don't know; but is there even a little chance that you might regret it later?
# posted by 
: 11:00 am
: 11:00 am
u cant stop your life for someone..it mite seem like they need you now..but whats to say that in 3 months time, they will would still b there for you?
When things just start looking up don't withdrawal cos of the changes that you are making...i know it can be scary..but this is ur time...put that hope coat back on now girly!!!
When things just start looking up don't withdrawal cos of the changes that you are making...i know it can be scary..but this is ur time...put that hope coat back on now girly!!!
# posted by : 3:06 pm
: 3:06 pm
a willy-willy. <-- not a penis joke, that's what the mini tornado is called. They happen in the desert all the time....very cool.
Don't you dare put your perception of someone else's needs in front of your own. That's a bad move - once again, shouldn't be telling you what to do...but you don't have that many years in your life, you should most definitely NOT give up one of them for something someone else believes that they need...or even worse, your perception of what they think they need.
Don't you dare put your perception of someone else's needs in front of your own. That's a bad move - once again, shouldn't be telling you what to do...but you don't have that many years in your life, you should most definitely NOT give up one of them for something someone else believes that they need...or even worse, your perception of what they think they need.
do whatever will make you happy.
don't worry about how it affects others or what they think of you, because when it comes down to it you're the only one you can depend on, and the only one that's going to always be there for yourself.
i know this sounds cliche and depressing. but it's the truth.
if you think waiting around for someone will make you happiest then do it. but if there's even the tiniest amount of doubt in your soul, then don't.
yesterday when i was on a run i saw 8 deer grazing in a field. it was one of those incredible moments. but i didn't have anyone to share it with either.
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don't worry about how it affects others or what they think of you, because when it comes down to it you're the only one you can depend on, and the only one that's going to always be there for yourself.
i know this sounds cliche and depressing. but it's the truth.
if you think waiting around for someone will make you happiest then do it. but if there's even the tiniest amount of doubt in your soul, then don't.
yesterday when i was on a run i saw 8 deer grazing in a field. it was one of those incredible moments. but i didn't have anyone to share it with either.
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