getting over it

I have finally become acclimatised to Ballarat, and what does it do? It goes and turns into Florida. I can’t stand this heat. You swallow a mouthful of water, you feel it bloat up your stomach, and then your tongue starts to become a dried up piece of nanna skin and you need to repeat the bloaty process. I’m trying to ignore this though. (I said "Trying".) I bought a Barbie keyboard this morning. It’s small and pink and it’s my new favourite plaything. (As well as Mickey 2 sugars.) The reason for this is because I can obviously not afford to buy the very sexy baby grand I’m drooling over in my dreams, and also because last night I could not sleep because I had a song on replay in my head. It was beautiful, and I had never heard it before. But it kept playing over and over again, and somehow I knew that if I played it just once on a piano my head would fall into my wonderfully soft pillow and I would be completely happy. There is another reason why I thought this. I saw a late movie with a friend (seven pounds), which made me want to embrace life. As soon as I got home, I knew the introduction to my book, and I also knew the title. I just Knew. It’s called “the cabbage moth.” It’s going to be aimed at the young adult area; it’s going to tackle racism, hate, love, alcohol and a few other subjects. Or at least that’s what’s in my head at the moment. Oh, yeah, oops, I went off in another tangent. (What’s new?) So, after writing this, I knew that I would sleep fantastically like a brick because last night, for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel like a failure. I felt like the person I want to be all the time. And then, this morning, there were literally something close to a hundred cabbage moths in my street. It’s a sign that this is what I’m meant to write. Oh! And another sign was that the two posters in front of my writing desk fell down, and as soon as I’d written the introduction, I knew that that’s where my book is meant to go as I’m writing it. Blu-tacked to my wall. I feel good. I feel inspired. I feel loved and warmth and complex understanding and contentment… even though I’m at work and there’s no air-conditioner. Everything is good.

Labels: bliss, weather, writing